RL plus NT
by meal-worm
Summary: Remus didn't plan on falling for Nymphadora Tonks. In fact, he tries to avoid the fact that he did. And he definitely didn't plan on leaving his notebook in plain sight, where Tonks might or might not be able to resist to urge to read it.  Remus/Tonks


Remus Lupin sat on a cushioned armchair at the Order headquarters, deep in thought. In one hand he held a notebook, in the other a quill, absentmindedly doodling. He was supposed to be writing a letter to Dumbledore, (who was away, doing something or other), about the new evidence they had found.

But his mind kept wandering.

This was a new experience for him, the bookworm, always supposed to be smart and focused. Every time he tried to concentrate, his thoughts lead to the same person.

Nymphadora Tonks.

He knew there was no chance. There couldn't possibly be. He was thirteen years older than her, for Merlin's sake! But that was the thing that mattered the least. He was a werewolf. A _werewolf_. He had no way to hold a job; everyone was terrified of him, prejudiced against werewolves. Every month on the full moon he turned into a monster, a terrifying beast. He couldn't blame everyone for being so scared of him.

He had considered taking wolfsbane potion, but he had quickly come to realize he had no money for anything like that. Even if he knew how to brew it, he couldn't get the ingredients. He had distant memories of full moons, having no control over his actions. Attacking innocent people, even killing them. He was horribly ashamed of himself, even though sympathetic people like Molly Weasley told him it wasn't his fault.

If, somewhere in a distant parallel universe, they somehow got together, he would have no way to support her. He wouldn't be able to buy her gifts, take her out on nice dates, he would probably have to make the engagement and wedding rings! He could just image getting down on one knee and pulling out a simple ring, only a band of silver, not even one jewel. She would stutter slightly at the ring, wondering why it was so plain. It would all come crashing down on her that he had no job, no money, no way to support her. She would say no, making him regret he had even considered asking.

Remus shook his head to clear his thoughts. He had to focus! He looked down at the page, taking in the random squiggles and shapes his quill had drawn while he had been thinking. He turned to a new page in the notebook and began writing.

_Dear Albus,_

_We have made many new discoveries,_

_some of which may be useful to you on_

_your journey. Nymphadora found-_

His quill came to a stop.

Nymphadora...

Merlin, even _writing _her name could make his heart skip, butterflies coming to his stomach. His gaze rested on the young woman herself sitting across the room with Sirius, sporting bright pink hair. Sirius said something apparently funny, because her face broke out into a wide smile. His stomach churned excitedly and his breath hitched as he stared at her white teeth, red lips, blue eyes...

There was something about her, something that made you look twice. The hair, shocking as it was, wasn't the only reason she could draw people's attention so quickly. She was bursting of energy, so full of life, that you couldn't help but think some of it might rub off on you. She wasn't one of those stunningly beautiful models; no, she was more beautiful than them to Remus. If you looked closely you could see the stunning complexion of her skin, the shape of her lips, the bright look in her eyes, even her nose was amazing.

But the thing he loved most about her was that she was herself. She could have pink spiky hair, a Weird Sisters t-shirt and baggy pants and still look amazing. Even though she could morph herself into anything she wanted, she chose to be what represented her the most.

"Hello?"

Remus was suddenly brought back to reality to see a hand waving in front of his face.

"Earth to Remus?"

He recognized Sirius' voice.

"Yeah. I'm here." he muttered. He didn't even have to look at Sirius to know he was smirking.

He realized he was still staring at Nymphadora and quickly tore away and looked up at Sirius.

"Daydreaming, were we?" Sirius' smirk grew wider, looked pointedly at the notebook in Remus's hand.

"Er, yeah," Remus said distractedly. He followed Sirius' gaze at the notebook and gasped inaudibly, heat rising to his face. His face was probably the deepest shade of red it could manage.

"You _might_ want to close that," Sirius said, the knowing smirk still on his face. He strode away.

Remus was completely surprised, even embarrassed that he had written that. He felt like a schoolgirl with a silly crush on a teacher, dreamily doodling when she thought about him and giggling childishly whenever he so much as glanced at her. Of course, he was a grown man and she was a young girl. He had known the excuses he had made to himself (too old, too poor, too dangerous...) were wearing thin. He had tried persuading himself that it was only a small crush, but this...

This proved otherwise.

He needed to pull himself together, think logically about the situation. The feelings were one sided. He was a werewolf. He was thirteen years older than she was. She probably just thought of him as an old boring bookworm, despite the joking conversations over mugs of tea they often had.

_But what if she doesn't?_ A voice at the back of his head nagged. He urged it to go away. When it didn't budge, he physically knocked the back of his head, earning a few strange glances and a satisfactory feeling when the voice went away.

"Uh, Remus?" he heard a familiar voice ask. "You okay?"

It was Nymphadora. He willed himself not to blush, or stutter.

"Yeah, just trying to get the voice at the back of my head go away,"

He winced at how stupid that sounded.

"What was it saying?" came Nymphadora's teasing reply.

Remus muttered something incomprehensible and went back to "writing the letter."

Nymphadora shrugged and walked away.

Suddenly, Kingsley burst into the room.

"Emergency Order meeting!" he said to the people in the room. Everyone shared questioning glances and murmured exchanges, making their way to the table in the kitchen.

Remus closed the notebook and left it sitting on the chair, forgetting about it for the time being.

Multiple cracks could be heard near the front door as members of the order apparated to the meeting. As soon as the last member arrived, Snape began talking, his dull voice drawling about a death eater attack or something like that. Remus was way too distracted to care. His attempts to not be distracted by Nymphadora were in vain. Even seeing the back of her head entranced him. The way her pink spikes delicately curled at the ends, sticking out odd ways...

"Remus?"

His head jerked up.

"Yes?"

"What do you think?"

"What was the question?"

"What do you think of the location the death eaters the chose to attack?"

Remus had honestly no idea what location he was talking about. He quickly made up an answer.

"It was certainly an odd place to attack,"

"And why would that be?"

"Uh... Out of all places they chose to attack they chose that place in particular... I don't know why they did."

He sighed in relief as Snape gave him a curious, almost amusing glance but moved on to another subject. He saw Sirius smirking at him again out of the corner of his eye, but he would have to worry about that later. Right now he was content with staring at the back of his dream girl's head.

* * *

Nymphadora Tonks had the strangest feeling. She felt a prickling feeling on the back of her head, like someone was staring at her. She normally would have dismissed this as the feeling of unintentionally morphing, but she tugged at a lock of hair and saw that it was still pink.

The only person sitting directly behind her was Remus Lupin...

She blushed slightly at that thought.

Tonks heard Snape ask Remus a question, an amused smile appeared on her face as it became clear that Remus had not been paying attention, and was desperately trying to cover it up.

She had a sudden urge to look back at him and stare into his beautiful hazel eyes...But she quickly dismissed the thought before it took over.

Finally the meeting was over. People were apparating home and she almost went home herself, but she decided she would stay for dinner. She glanced around the room looking for Sirius or Remus, but to her disappointment no one was in the room.

Her gaze rested on the notebook Remus had left on the armchair in a hurry to get to the meeting

Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing she was alone.

She casually picked up the notebook, sat in the chair, and began to read.

The first few pages were love poems written in his scrawled handwriting, which, to Tonks' surprise, were quite good.

She pondered on who he could be writing them for.

Molly? No, definitely not. She was married, for one, and she was definitely not his type. Wait, did he even have a type?

This led to a whole different argument in her head. She began going through the names of witches in the Order, crossing each off as a possibility.

A thought struck her.

Could Remus be writing these poems for... her?

No. Definitely not. He would be interested in someone his own age, right? He was, what, thirteen years older than her? Yes, definitely too old.

She crossed herself off the list. After she had gone through all the witches in the Order, she remembered the notebook. The next page was full of random doodles. Tonks found it amusing that someone as bookish as Remus would doodle like that.

She turned the page and found an unfinished letter to Dumbledore, mentally scowling when she read her name as Nymphadora and not Tonks.

Nothing could have prepared her for what lay on the next page.

She turned the page and gasped audibly.

Surrounded by a large heart, were the words RL + NT.

**I hope you enjoyed that. This is my first time attempting to write a Remus/Tonks fic, and I'm pleased at how it turned out. Please feel free to leave me a review. I want some feedback, as this is the first time I've tried writing for this couple. Honestly tell me if it sucked.**


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